Do you even find yourself looking at other people and wishing you could accomplish what they could? Or your bucket list just seems to be getting longer and longer but you never seem to cross anything off?
I have been there multiple times in my life! I like to consider myself a goal-oriented person, but sometimes I get stuck in the trap of wanting to achieve everything and anything but get too overwhelmed to start. I either can not decide what I want to focus on, so I do it all, or I start up a new project that eventually fizzles out. Which then makes me feel like I will never get to where I want to be.
If this sounds like you, you might start to wonder if you can ever reach your goals. But FEAR NOT! I have developed a strategy to get to all my goals and feel satisfied with my results. And it all starts out with getting EVERYTHING OUT!
You heard me! Write everything you want to accomplish and get it all on paper. Even if it is 100 pages long. I want you to get everything out. Once you write everything down you are now able to see what your goals are so that you can start narrowing them down.
Go back to your list and find any goals that you want to work towards RIGHT NOW and see if they are specific enough. I say specifically “right now” because of course I am not asking you to do all your goals now. That would be too overwhelming! When you want to work towards a goal you want to be able to give your full attention to it. Depending on how big your goals are will depend on how many you can able to handle right now. For me, a good sweet spot is 2-4 goals or you can separate your life into quadrates and put ONE goal in each one. For example, quadrate one may be fitness, quadrate two may be school/education, quadrate 3 may be finances, and quadrate 4 may be stress management. By doing this you will be clear on your goals and know which ones you want to go towards without feeling overwhelmed. You can always go back to your 100-page list and revisit your goals but for now, only pick a few goals to help you stay focused on achieving them.
Now, most of the time when we have one goal it tends to be similar to another goal and this is because our goals are not specific enough. If all you write down is “I want to decrease my anxiety” What does that actually mean? How do you know if you are actually decreasing your anxiety or not? How do you actively work towards decreasing your anxiety? Are you going to start a journaling practice? A mediation practice? Start yin yoga? All of these things are great to start decreasing your anxiety but if all you say is to decrease your anxiety you do not actually know how to decrease your anxiety.
Once you have narrowed down your goals to the ones you want to work toward now is the time to make sure your goals are specific and measurable enough. As I said above, you want to be specific enough to know what exactly you are working towards but also want your goals to be measurable.
A good way to make sure your goals will pass the test is by making sure your goal is a S.M.A.RT goal. S.M.A.R.T goals stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Going back to the decreasing anxiety example this goal is neither specific nor measurable, it may be achievable and relevant but it is definitely not time-bound. Instead, you may want to say that your goal is to add in yin yoga three times a week before bed for 3 months. This goal is specific to what you want to do, measurable because you can check off that you did it 3 times a week, relevant because you want to decrease your anxiety, and time-bound because you said you would do it for 3 months. Another example could be if you want to increase your deadlift to 220 lbs so you will lift weights 3 times a week. Both of these examples are S.M.A.R.T goals.
Now that you have a clear goal you are ready to go! But you may find it hard to stick to your goals. Or that you are finding it hard to even get started. One trick I like to use is pairing my goal with something I already do. This may look like adding in a yin yoga video after I brush my teeth because that is already part of my bedtime routine or going to the gym after I eat breakfast. If you pair a goal with something you are already doing it makes it easier to remember to do it without having to figure out when you will add it to your schedule. Doing this will also make adding your new goal more seamless into your life. Then once it becomes a consistent part of your routine you will not even have to think about it.
Now if you are still struggling to take on your new goal it may be time to reevaluate your goal. Your goal may not be specific enough. It may be too much right now. Maybe instead of three days a week you need to go down to one or two. There is no shame in changing or lowering how often you do your goal. All you want to do is build consistency so then you can build off of it. If you never build consistency you will never build the habit of working towards your goal.
Another thing to consider is….is this goal something you genuinely want. Is your goal based on what someone else wants? Did society say you should achieve this goal? How do you think you would feel once you achieved this goal? What is the why behind your goal? These are all good questions to ask yourself when it comes to figuring out if YOU genuinely want this goal. Working towards your goal may be challenging at times but it still should be what you want to do and have a reason behind it. For instance, I want to lift 250 lbs for my deadlift so that I can feel strong, and powerful and build my confidence. It may also be because I want to be stronger than dad and show off a bit but I will let you decide if that is true or not😜.
In summary, it is possible to go after and achieve all the goals you want to achieve. It takes time, patience, and consistency. The important thing to remember is that your goals can always change and should be something that you are desiring to do. But most of all remember to enjoy the journey of accomplishing your goals. Sometimes we can get so focused on getting to our goals we forget to enjoy the moment of working towards our goals. Some of my greatest lessons were learned during the process of working towards my goals rather than reaching my actual goal. Remember to stay present, have fun and enjoy the process!
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